New Beginnings {{Thoughts from 3am}}

I am 44 years old, I have been married for 20 years,

I have four children. I have lived through a lot of ups and downs.

And today I start as a brand new student at Canterbury University.

 

At 3am, having lain awake for a couple of hours, 

I've decided to get up, have a cup of tea and write this post.

I suppose I'm anxious. I'm worried I won't find where I'm supposed to be

and that I'll miss out on hearing some vital piece of information.

Sometimes I feel like I live in a 90's aerobics class. 

Everyone is swinging one way and I'm swinging the other.

 

But really all of my life has prepared me for this day.

I plan to take all the pieces of my experience and add learning and facts

and be come out the other end able to use these things to help others.

 

Even the ugly bits, or maybe especially the ugly bits.

They are all going to be useful.

The struggles and the secret tears will have their place.

 

It's true I'm a bit old for this caper,

my friends are settling down ready for a quieter life,

but I love to learn and I've probably got enough time left for this adventure

plus some years of usefulness as well.

One of the reasons I'm doing this, is because you can do it sitting down,

so even if my hips give up completely, it won't matter,

unlike teaching or something similar where you need to be fit and active.

 

It's like this quilt which I made completely from scraps and leftovers

and discarded pieces (apart from the binding). 

It's off on a useful life now keeping a precious family warm.

It's amazing when you put all those things that don't seem 

that special or important together,

you can make something that is beautiful and good.

This old dog is going to learn a few new tricks.